Welcome to Braxel the Begrudging's Arcane Curios & Spiteful Spellery
(Now operating out of a mossy cart behind the burned-out alchemy school. Bah.)
 
After a series of misunderstandings involving ley lines, a talking goat, and the unintentional liquefaction of a magistrate’s gazebo, I, Braxel the Begrudging, have been reluctantly compelled to share my personal spell collection with the wider, less-qualified public. Yes, you, commonfolk and half-trained hedge-thumbs alike, can now access genuine wizardry previously hoarded by yours truly.
Why? Because a wizard’s got to eat, and apparently, eldritch respect doesn’t pay for beetroot stew.
 
🕯️ What You’ll Get:
Each spell comes in two delightful formats, sealed with real wax (none of that modern day glue garbunkle):
 
✦ Safe Standard Spell (For Cowards and In-Laws)
Perfect for parties, parlor tricks, and mild revenge.
Tested on interns (most survived).
Comes with minor guarantees of stability.
 
✦ Braxel's Potent and Unstable Variant(For the Bold, Desperate, or Slightly Drunk)
Significantly stronger.
Potential side effects include laughter, chaos, mild hauntings, or existential revelations.
Includes a waiver (signed in blood or legally binding ink).
 
Whether you want to:
Curse your neighbor’s pantry,
Levitate your cat against its will,
Or hear your ex's voice scream from your fireplace once more...
…I’ve got something for everyone, and everything for no one in particular.